Grokkist Press Reading Room

Less aloneHearthlandsSnackables

🧲 A Persistent Demand for Autonomy

Two short reflections offered as a pair, exploring similar questions from opposite directions. The first is a neurodiversity-affirming coach on 'pathological demand avoidance' — when you were going to do something of your own accord, but the moment someone asks you to do it you suddenly do

Grokkist Press

· 1 minute

A persistent demand for autonomy vs flaking on your friends
tiktok.com

Two short reflections offered as a pair, exploring similar questions from opposite directions. The first is a neurodiversity-affirming coach on 'pathological demand avoidance' — when you were going to do something of your own accord, but the moment someone asks you to do it you suddenly don't want to. He prefers to call it a persistent demand for autonomy: a need to do things for intrinsic enjoyment that turns into resistance the instant it becomes an obligation. The second reflects on 'flake culture' and what it's like to be the friend who actually wanted to hang out. Food for thought.

Written by

Grokkist Press

The house byline of Grokkist Press: Snackables, the Grokkist letter, and the things we make together.

More from Grokkist Press ↗ Everyone who writes here ↗

Filed in the Reading Room

Register

A reading of this piece

What is this? ↗

The Press's reading, not a score. Nothing here is better at one end than the other. See the whole Press mapped ↗

Writing like this grows in company

Hear when the next one is out.

Which letters
What's the difference?

The Grokkist letter is Danu's monthly letter about the whole Grokkist community: what people are making and thinking about, gatherings coming up, and a handful of Snackables, small good things worth your time.

The Press sends you new writing from this site as it's published (essays, talks, stories, books in instalments), plus a monthly letter from the editor. You can narrow it to the Realms you care about.

Choose either or both. Each email has a one-click way out.

Only send me Press pieces from (leave all off for everything)
What are the Realms?

Every piece in the Press lives in one or two Realms: regions of the Grokkist world, each asking for a different kind of attention. Pick the ones that draw you, and you'll only hear about pieces from those.

  • Unfolding Realm: identity and becoming
  • Entangled Vale: shared inquiry and making sense together
  • Maker's Forge: creative expression
  • Soma Isles: the body and embodied practice
  • Wild Margin: changemaking and possibility
  • Hearthlands: community and connection

Wander the Realms ↗

One click to leave, any time. We never share your address.

Check your inbox: there's a link to confirm. Then you're in.

That didn't go through. Try again, or write to [email protected].

In good company

Replies from signed-in readers. They open in their own space, so you can sit with the piece first.

Keep reading

Nearby on the shelf.