Brave Either Way

I’m spinning.
	It’s too much.
		All the things.

I go to the only place.
	The only place that can bring me back.
		Back to myself.

A cold swim.
	Shock to my body.
		Release for my mind.
  
A walk on the beach.
	Meditative.
	Rhythm.
		Lulling me home.

I see a monarch in the sand.
	Tipped over on her side.
Legs pedaling in the air.
	Struggling.
		Just like me.

I sit down next to her and ask her aloud,
	Would you like me to intervene or just be with you in your struggle?

Wings glued together with moisture
	and dusted with sand,
I truly don’t know what will cause her less pain.
	Living or
		Dying.

I stay with her.
	Stay with the struggle
		And wait for her reply.

She tells me she will accept my gentle intercession.
	I right her and allow air to flow through her wings.
Hoping she will fly once again.
	Maybe as far as Mexico.

You have a big, big journey ahead of you if you can recover.
You’re very brave.
	I offer admiringly.

Brave to face death all alone on this beach.
Brave to fly all the way to Mexico.

You’re very brave either way.

Then I hear my words echo back to me.
	I hear the monarch lovingly whisper,

You’re very brave to take this big, big journey.
You’re brave to be fierce with reality.
	To surrender to what is.
	To live alongside the devastation.
	To walk a razor edge.

You’re brave when you resist.
You’re brave when you relinquish.

You’re very brave either way.